Owned by a Ten Year Old Girl

The last Friday of school, I was at tennis practice (pre-qualified, I will admit it). The groups were interesting, me and Hersch (or as I like to call him, Herschey) were with all girls because we are "ladies' men." The other people in our group were two freshmen from Hockaday I'm not horribly familiar with (Kate and Aline or something along those lines) and two best friends under ten years old, Natalie and _______ (mind blank). Natalie and _______ (I'll fill it in tomorrow) together kept taunting me after I eked out a victory in a drill. It was sudden death (I have a fear of sudden death), and me and ______ were facing off for the right not to run extra. Everybody else chose who they wanted to side with. Only Herschey stuck with me, but sure enough everybody's belief that a girl half my size would beat me ended up blowing up in their faces... yes I got lucky
So Natalie and _____ start teasing me a bit, eventually asking questions about me. Here are some examples:

"How many friends do you have?"
"4: Timmy, Jimmy, Bimmy, and Eustace."
"Only four friends?! *LOL*"

"Do you have a girlfriend?"
... This one was the scathing one. After a sigh and a "no," I got the heat. I then asked if they had boyfriends, proceeding to do my "OOOooooooooooooooooooh" dance right after that saying "OOOooooooooooooooooooooooh..." not really

This was after I didn't exactly... "stop" when running for a drop volley, hitting my thumb on the wire holding up the net, which was surprisingly painful. My thumb was red and swollen, so I was kinda ______ing (forgot the word) it. This is mostly paraphrasing
"What's wrong with your thumb?"
"It hurts"
"Do you have a mole? Is that what hurts?"
"Yes, actually, I was born without a thumb, but I had a rather large mole next to it. With a little makeup and cosmetic surgery, the doctors got it to look pretty real"
They then proceeded to laugh. When the mumblers (the Hock freshwomen... if that's not h@x to say) came into the line we were waiting in, they then said "GUESS WHAT HE SAID!" Next was one of the weirdest things ever. I think I said "those kids and their crazy imaginations."

"Did you go to Homecoming?"
"Yes"
This question intrigued me. How would they know about Homecoming? I'm fourteen, they probably think I'm going to prom and about to graduate college or something (older kids are all the same).

"Who was your date?"
"Katherine"
This time, I was looking in their direction beforehand, so I saw when they scampered over to Aline (sp!??!) and Kate (sp?...?), who then inquired quietly the last name to Natalie and ______. I didn't know what the hell was happening, but I think I was being stalk-mocked O.o I then said "what," or something, and it was suddenly time for the next drill/game

Yeah I'm totally confused about that, and I haven't been to tennis since, so I don't know what the hell went on to this very day

Phish Quote in order
I'm gradually changing Travis from "Travis" -> "Trvis" -> " Trvs" -> "Tvs" -> " Tv" -> "T" -> " "
when he reaches " " he will be in his ultimate form, and will be unstoppable

Update on I Can't Believe It's Not Travis

The actual post... I'll make when I get around to it.

enjoy it

And to add some so this isn't a complete waste of a post (even though iCBiNT is fantastic, kudos), I must say December has been my most productive month blogging wise, but some of these posts should have been combined. This would not produce a "super post" (those are probably hax legally anyway), but maybe something that could pass off as readable to the untrained eye, like mine. I really should add more to those needing more... maybe reviews?

The last boss IRL is Bob Saget, Chuck Norris, and Jesus tied together
-Phish, during a philosophical metaphor of typical video game structure

The Two-Parter: RANDOM and Comments on The OHB

Okay I just had a thought and it had to be said... wait according to whatever is checking this "okay" is not spelled correctly... this is weird. Well anyway the thought was on Stravinsky's "The Rite of Spring," and I'm fully aware I suck so bad I shouldn't be allowed to say the poorly translated name, but I got the bassoon intro to see if my brother could play it. "What a retard, playing bassoon in treble clef," said he... wow... nuff said. Oh, so "nuff" isn't spelled correctly either, Blogger not Beta?!??! Fine.

ANYWAY AGAIN back to The Rite of Spring, I'm lookin (again with the blogger spell checking...) at the bassoon intro's (spell check!??!?!) sheet music, and apparently the first notes are quintuplets. The next thing I said (the aforementioned thought) was "is that legal?!?!" Seriously, this is so hard to comprehend, becoming a world class musician just got that much harder for me. Damn you, good music. Oh and Blogger is out of Beta today. Very nice

This also needs more added once I wake up

OH I REMEMBER THE OTHER THOUGHT I THOUGHT

So far, FIVE people have created their own blogs after reading mine (cept one sorta not but you don't need to know about that)!!! Thank you for making me feel useful

Oh, and before I forget, I have some comments (not the kind you leave, just... me... commenting) on my blog. The only recurring sentiment about my beloved text baby is that it absolutely reeks of my mannerisms and "tude." Or, in their words, they can picture me saying everything that I post. I'm pretty sure that's a compliment, but then again, I'm not exactly a fantastic speaker... But I'll take it as a compliment anyway!!

This is passable as a post, right? Good... I've trained you noble few (emphasis on few) readers well

Someone: Wassup
Me: Trying to pass some text off as a blog post

True story, there

need sleeeeeeep... and blackouts SUCK

A Look Inside the Upcoming, "A Very Strange Day, Indeedy"

This, ladies and assorted others, is a draft. This is both a way to show you how I prepare for a post if I don't feel like completing it AND a way for me to not have to actually make a post (ie this post is just me making an excuse to post an unfinished post). Terribly interesting, I know.

-Sprint to the door in english
-no shoes, thought i had them, confronted by Fx and ignored by baird
-free fresca, chick fil a
-no phish quotes
-giancarlos father died. this is not funny. seriously... but forget about it now because......
-epilepsy, however, is hilarious

Yeah, I probably will finish the above post (which is rather old) later, but this one is DONE, SON. Actually, don't be surprised if I just copy and paste an email about that above thing and call it a post... However I need some quotes before this is done

Moomoocrunchy 01: so, how was that gathering?
Moomoocrunchy 01: not a party, of course

There must've been at least a thousand quotes from tonight, but I can't remember... maybe one about Sean having relations with a goat according to a high police officer but it was actually Matthew who was also high along with Sean and myself...

This is to be edited for de-crapification

How can one follow up the greatest picture ever?

Quite simply, actually, you can't. Therefore I shall make a normal blog post and hope people forget the one time this blog rose to something AWESOME and think it's funny again. How can I be funny, you might ask. The answer is simple: use other people's mistakes:

Didn't T.S. Elliot win the Nobel Prize for literacy?
-Sid

UltraPhish: steam requires "64mb RAM"
virtuosonot42: no wonder you cant run it
UltraPhish: baby jesus save anyone with 64mb of RAM or less

UltraPhish: woot your blog now has aslightly more posts tagged with "Phish" than "Penis"
I shall soon fix this, don't you worry...

this is a work in progress but ive really gotta put SOMETHING new up


Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

The Greatest Picture Ever

THIS IS IT!!!!


First off, this is not my picture, this masterpiece is Phish's doing. Plus, I didn't even ask permission to post this even though it's not mine or in any way affiliated with me... whatever it's the greatest picture ever. Love the picture. Be the picture. I can't believe it's not travis... greatest socca ball games ever.


Now that I have created "I Can't Believe It's Not Travis," what is there left for me in life? I've practically beaten the last boss... of life
-Phish

The New Frontiers

Well after a few weeks of creative block (ie actually doing things with my life... jk not really) I return to the scene with an actual entry instead of random youtube videos. My recent actions and "content-less additions" (no jokes about that being my blog as well), which you should immediately notice when you look at this page, might implicate me as a sell-out. Personally, I don't believe I qualify for "sell-outage" because I simply have nothing to sell out for. Quite frankly, these annoying-ass ***s (which I'm legally bound not to mention) are pissing me off for almost nothing. Support me but without breaking the law *wink*. So anyway.. I'm tired of talking, you talk now. peace

*Insert Phish quote ASAP*

Pink Floyd - Hey You

This is creepy as shit... I'm obsessed with creating a song that can best this...

Greatest Album Covers (That I Own)

This is merely a little experiment by me... a list

10. Are You Experienced?
9. Weasels Ripped My Flesh
8. Physical Graffiti
7. We're Only in it for the Money
6. Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
5. Dark Side of the Moon
4. Houses of the Holy
3. The Beatles (The White Album)
2. The Velvet Underground & Nico
1. Who's Next

I'll explain later, I have homework

Wha' Happened?

This is maybe one of the greatest comedic monologues in a movie EVER... no joke. I'm serious, Fred Willard is one of the most consistantly funny people alive. Hey, wha' happened? classic...

Domo Kun

I'm not sure I WANT to understand what they're saying...

Beck - Loser

This is a little song never meant to be big, but anybody who hears it should immediately know that the radio would love it. Just heard it last week and now I'm trying to find a place to buy my organs or at least trade them for some beck cds.

Frank Zappa - King Kong (1968)

A great performance of a really really long jazz/classical/avant garde piece shortened to just the good stuff, performed live at the BBC. This is the earliest Mothers of Invention video I have seen for a while, and this song is from their third album (I believe), Uncle Meat

Change is good because there's no way this could get worse

So as of today, this blog is no longer the sole intellectual property of myself, the sultan of whoopass. Now, Phish has decided to help out because he is really really bored, just as I am! After many many pathetic attempts at making this site pretty and organized on the level of code and stuff, I had just about given up on it all. However, things are still rough, making ad revenue harder to come by, but I'd imagine that the few people who visit me on the web are at least sorta amused. Plus, I think I will start posting external stuff on here for some net entertainment that will save you time spent finding it. Youtube has a great feature to help me in that regard, so now you should have more entertaining things to do on here besides listen to me.

"wow pope innocent III initiated the 4th crusade, thats deliciously ironic" - Phish

An Interesting Revelation (To Me, at Least)

I've realized that rap is amazing for this simple reason: it is based off of rhyme, and with contemporary word pronunciation and great stride in ebonics theory, the word "control" rhymes with "floor." This also holds true in crap Japanese pronunciation. You can then reason that rappers mutilate the language, but they make so much money by doing so, they win!

*scratches head*

monologues tomorrow

gone over mine until i want to strangle it

thats it, ive lost it

*strangle strangle strangle*

quoth the monologue:
"ow"

A new tradition has begun: every blog post *must* end in a Phish quote. Now, if my blog slows down, don't blame me for being lazy, blame Phish for not being funny enough (and me for not remembering what he says...)
Me: So Phish we need to
Phish: What's that? Oh, I'm sorry, I can't hear you over how awesome I am

Dots and Sinners

Well I've finally decided that the dot layout... sucks. I thought it was nice and easy on the eyes at first.. but it's getting on my nerves now. What to switch it to... oh well I'll figure it out later. KITH is my new favorite irreverent (sp?) sketch comedy show. Check Youtube, Google's (who I love and ADORE, for you Google people looking at this blog to see if it's adsense worthy) new little bitch. There are some funny sketches on there, but the dvd's the way to go. They have SKETCH SELECTION!!! Finally, a DVD that doesn't make you watch everything or just fast forward a lot.

I've seen four movies lately, but one doesn't count because it had Jerry Seinfeld in it. The first two are A Mighty Wind and Best In Show, both starring, directed, and written by Christopher Guest. The cast mostly carries over from Best In Show for A Mighty Wind, and it's really refreshing to see these actors take on and construct (the dialogue was primarily improvised) entirely new and different characters. Both were hilarious, but A Mighty Wind was not nearly as funny as Best In Show. The times I laughed the hardest, though, were sometimes the deleted scenes. Because so much footage was shot and only so much was needed to flesh out the characters, sometimes certain scenes were deemed to be too similar and cut. Check em out if you rent either movie. However, no question the funniest person in either film, the Nigel Tufnel of both movies, was Fred Willard. Watch for his hilarious bits and improv genius in his office scene in A Mighty Wind, his interviews in Best In Show, and every other time he's EVER on screen. You'll love both if you like comedy, but neither is perfect. Thumbs up for both, and even if these two are 10 times better than For Your Consideration, Guest's new movie, I will still see it and laugh. Both are classics, just like the other movie, Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny. We have a club... The Tenacious D Movie Watching Club, or the TTDMWC (or titidimwick). We shall meet twice... once was the opening day of the movie, once when it comes out on DVD. It shall be glorious. If you like the D, watch the movie. If you don't, stop reading this blog and get a life (although they are stupid). If you want some more comedy, though, watch KITH

Lastly, I have been playing tennis a lot recently... primarily against little children who are better tennis players than me. Considering that I'm literally the only one in my group who can do a push-up, the strongest, the fastest, and the tallest (especially the last one), it's really pathetic that I keep losing. Hopefully I won't lose much longer, peace

Hey You

That song is stuck in my head like you wouldn't believe... I got out my acoustic just to play it... I never do that... oh well. Maybe I'll perform it for coffeehouse if I can practice harder than a mofo...

So the ISAS has been, in essence, cancelled. An "all Dallas" ISAS is like an "all Alaska" Super Bowl, it's just going to be a bunch of people clamoring for an expert to refer to. I suppose this is gravely exaggerated, but wth, three people who don't care anyway are the only people who read this piece of crap... it's a shame. Why

Maybe I'll delve into metaphysics... or just basic (albeit more profound and often deeper) contemplation on the nature of existence... this blog works well as a diary. For me, blogging is like having a diary. However, my blog, seeing as I am a cheap-ass, has no lock, unlike most sane people's diaries. The presented problem of private sentiments and information being revealed to friends or acquaintences whom I would rather not know is perfectly harmless, for you see, nobody actually READS this blog. I could say the most racist thing possible... I could slander everything there is to slander and be left totally unharmed... like a lunatic in the grass (unintentional DSotM quote), if you get the imagery. If you really wish to know what I think... tell me two things the last point made was supposed to convey.

I have thought this particular entry though carefully and meticulously, leaving no opened doors unventured and doing no sentiments disjustice by tainting them with my inherently inadequate human (relatively poor, for a human, as well) rhetoric. If only I could write this well for English class... it really is a shame...

What stimulates creativity such as this? This entry began, to me, as a forced addition to remind myself after many years of gradual maturation what, as of this moment, I consider important, as well as what I believe to be my future. This interests me in multiple ways... think for instance, you are in a cell. If you have accurate way to gauge elapsed time, surely you will have to record how many times certain "unchangables" occur (i.e. astronomical phenomena). After a few years, if data is carefully gathered, trends might be noticed. Through observation, one can gather all the information ever needed. If I gauge what has gone on in my life, such as social difficulties, academic pressure, and artistic aspirations, (pathetic grasping of the English language), then maybe I will learn something about myself. "When you lose, don't lose the lesson " -His holiness the Dalai Lama. Knowing my knack of losing things, I hope to gather them all together and immortalize them in a bunch of zeroes and ones. Think of it as a notebook of lessons... what I've done wrong and what I've managed to do wrong at a relatively harmless point in time. Unfortunately, that serves as an accurate summation of the past fourteen and a half years.... I have a movie to see tomorrow.. I'm afraid I will have to abandon this unfinished work... however I suppose more than perusal and devotion are required for me to create something worth taking up bandwidth. Good night... hopefully you have seen an unpolished, rough edged look at my literary style, but most importantly, I hope you will look into it enough to understand what I feel when I write, no matter what it is. If you can tell, then I have succeeded, if not, then I have another fucking thing to worry about

The Future of Mankind

Half Life 3




and I just remembered today in science we watched Gattaca.. cool except all the needles. im deathly afraid

Work Work Work

Today I dreamt... it was awesome. Actually, I went to bed and saved this as a draft at the "..." so lemme wing it here... Um... I remember it was the first time I had dreamt in a while, I was at my dad's office hard at work when suddenly I was at school. It was after break, and I had forgotten to turn in all of my homework for the last trimester, causing a revolt by the goblins under the chapel. The leader of these goblins, St. Huckleberry (guess what book I was thinking of!), was a puny, dwarfish, striking mutant... don't ask... it's difficult to explain. So St. Huckleberry is all poed, and then they grab Rev Kev and slam his head against a tombstone just like in the Night of the Living Dead, except there's not really a tombstone at Saint Mark's, especially not one coming out of the wall of the language building. As I pondered this, I started narrating my own life in poetry. I literally said the last sentence, and as I said "pondered," my mind wandered off to "The Raven," and I became a raven. I flew around Rev. Kev's body and then he rose up and smacked St. Huckleberry. "Im'a come up atchu like a monkey atta steeeam rooom," said Rev Kev, and he promptly OWNED the dwarfy nub. More to come as I find more time...

My Ears are Bleeding Ecstasy (The Other Kind)

That was the most amazing concert I've seen... no question

Here's the gist of what I want to blog so I don't forget

The lead singer for the opening act, The Pretenders, was ambiguously hot. She could have been really old and wrinkly, but i couldn't tell

They were good, but no question the who were just too good

solo to who are you was particularly nice

wont get fooled again scream was the best ive heard save POSSIBLY the kids are alright

only way to tell if the songs over: does pete do the splits?

The keyboarder looked really apathetic no matter how crazy the band was. turns out it was actually the keyboard tech subbing for the keyboardist who's in England with his sick wife. pete asked the crowd to pray for him

The first song began on a differently fingered chord than usual, so i didnt recognize it until the 2nd chord: I Can't Explain. Each song was amazing, from that to The Seeker, which was in a slightly different rhythm, then Substitute, and the set list also included the following
Wire and Glass (Tea & Theatre was at the end), Tommy's Overture/Underture, Amazing Journey (after PBW), Pinball Wizard (1st encore), See Me Feel Me, a VERY long My Generation, WON'T GET FOOLED AGAIN (Zak Starkey NAILED his drum fills), Baba O'Riley, which was probably the highlight of the show when it came on just after Wire & Glass, Man in a Purple Dress (Daltrey was standing on an amp the whole time, the rest of the band just kinda left cept Pete), WHO ARE YOU, which had some subpar synth but amazing guitar, You Better You Bet, which was awesome (introed with "this is a song i wrote for you" just as who are you was), Eminence Front, introed by "this is a song about people who think they're smarter than they really are," Real Good Lookin Boy, apparently about elvis and written by daltrey partially??!?!!, and Mike's Post Theme, about TV theme songs

This is crude info, but I just want it down. I'll polish it for ya later

Pete tried to spin his guitar in the air after Tea & Theatre, which was superb, and he couldn't quite get a hold of it. It fell and made an awful racket, but then the two standing together was all the more poignant. Pete threw a wad of guitar picks out to the crowd at the end, and as he left, he just said "you sad fuckers"
everyone laughed, and he just waved silently as he left, but one has to wonder just how much he truly meant it. people clamoring for GUITAR PICKS... still, i know i wouldve, and i hope he still loves his fans


If i had to review this concert, it would honestly be a 10/10 JUST because of the sheer amazingness of hearing the who...

Suggestions?

I've been reading a few blogs, and I read a few articles, to learn how to be a better blogger. Someday, I would like to have one, maybe in college, so that everyday I could hope that maybe I hit it big and have a shot at becoming the next Fark, Digg, or CNN. Of course, the odds of me EVER becoming as rich as the guy who made Digg are impossible, and Fark was pretty cool at first. I'm sure I could do the rest if I felt like it.
Creating and adding to The Babbler (the name will change soon) has begun to feel almost like homework... sitting down and trying to be entertaining to the faceless few who take time out of their lives to humor me, which I appreciate immensely. But NOW, it must be changed. i have plenty of other things, i have single scenes from plays, stanzas of poetry (mostly humorous), and other crap laying around. if anyone would like to see it, i will post it here. No, I never will show you in person and will never copy and paste it onto AIM. Sorry.
Not being funny like that is liberating... which is why i do it all the time. Now I have $I-I1+ to do, so please, get back to me if you have any recommendations for what you'd like to see here. I have lots to say, and here i can allow you to not listen to the boring parts.
PAX

Psychedelica

The following actual quotations are merely examples of why doctors recommend getting hours (PLURAL) of sleep at night:

"Hey Phish, to win at fencing, why don't you just go *fffp*"

"Sweeping is like backwards hoeing... see, *makes a push-broom motion* fishing is just like backwards hoeing.... wait..."

"I would never hire him. EVER. Unless I hired him as a man-slave... NOT THAT WAY"

yeah...

Sadly, these outright treasons against the royal institution of Lernin' Engrish are not my only crimes against humanity. For example:

"The question cannot be answered as there is not enough given information. Specifically, it is never specified whether or not the trajectory will peak past the given elapsed time and cannot be proven, so only the demented creators of this ungodly exam know the answer to this question, and I refuse to kiss ass to find it."
-The last answer to the Algebra I exam. While technically correct, points were deducted for verbosity, points that kept me from a perfect exam

?

So I've stopped working on my play before even blogging about how I know I will never be able to finish it... Not a good sign. It was a cool play on the nature of remorse and mistakes. A guy kills someone, though I haven't been able to think of who, hence the quitting, and the play begins with his own rationalization of it 2 weeks later. He has been affected immensely by it, and does not know what to do. Nobody knows it cept him and he's goin nuts. Maybe I'll take the 15 lines I wrote IN BLANK VERSE and put them up here eventually... let me know if you'd like it. Also, this is a test, once again, to see who actually reads this crap (even though I like it).


So I saw Borat... it was as funny as I had hoped, but if I were him, I would feel like a complete whore. He does some stuff I would never do, no matter how much money was at stake. Still... even though it's a one joke plot and a thin, hackneyed one at that, I laughed very, very hard.
On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being This is Spinal Tap and 1 being a spinal tap (its not easy making Spinal Tap related jokes), Borats a good 9!!! I like

Epic Poetry

So today has been overall pretty interesting. It was cold, I spent 2 hours writing a total of 7 lines of a play, and I have been cursing Zach Braff for being such a retard in Scrubs. Honestly!!! How can he not love Elliot!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!! If you watch Grey's, it's not half as emotionally honest as Scrubs, where real people handle real problems, such as being locked away and taped up by a team of po'ed janitors or having people much more intelligent and attractive be madly in love with you. Personally, I think the second would be much less difficult, but that's just me.

New Who album out... finally. I'll get it if they put on a good show.

Marx brothers rule, ill fix this post later im busy

Quality Standards... Should they be Implemented?

Well FB whatever the hell it is makes it so my blog, or at least the title, is shown to everyone who looks at my profile. This is not good. Prior to this, my blog was a place of blissful mediocrity. Now, people will actually be reading this crap. Not cool. If I wanted people to read my blog, I would have made it good.

This is a joke, retards

What I'm Listening to: Early Metal/Hard rock
What I'm Wearing: What do you think
Mood: Lost, contemplative... nothing great believe me

So yeah... now the actual blog... dee da dum... oh yeah i got something: The most pertinent thing to our everyday lives. This is big, important, and pressing: random facts about Indians (native americans), or at least somewhat related to them

less than 1% of people on wagon trains were killed by Native americans
If you have any cherokee blood youre considered super dandy (full blooded) as a cherokee
the cheapest land purchase ever wasnt the louisiana purchase, 11 cents an acre, it was land taken ("bought") from american indians for... TWO CENTS AN ACRE
Read about king phillips war if you want to be scared shitless... the governer of VA actually had the skin of an indian sliced off, then watched as he made the poor guy eat his own flesh... we owe more to these people than we think

on a happy note... um... bye

Daniel in Aliceland

What I'm Listening to: The Ballad of Dwight Frye
What I'm Wearing: Nike Shirt and Cargo Shorts (and no retainer)
Mood: Finally listening to the song I'm addicted to-ish, PUMPED FOR THE WHO

Well... I'm going to see The Who live. That's right. THE rock n' roll band, live, in Dallas. It doesn't get any better than this (except if they had Moony and Ox). I've taken a look at their setlist, and it seems to be a great mix of classic Who and their newer tunes. They have some from Face Dances, their catalogue of classic singles, Who's Next, and even their new EP Wire and Glass. Hopefully the latter can hold a candle to the rest, lest I be bored at the concert and waste 15 bucks on their new cd.

Well right now, I've got to say, Love it to Death is a fracking kick-arse album. TBoDF is one of my new favorite songs. Sadly it's not too acclaimed despite its awesomeness. Basically, the Coop is a great artist, and the original band is just plain badarse. Plus, I read that they have one major blueprint as artists, one band whom they most want to be like. I'll give you a hint, it's the same as U2..... can you guess it????

THE WHO

Plain and simple: The Who are the first hard rock band, save possibly only (and I do mean only) The Kinks. That's all I have to say

Bananas: the New Black

What I'm Listening to: I'm so Tired (The Beatles, The Beatles)
Mood: Merely a teensy dip in an average day

So today we have an interesting conundrum.... not really i just enjoy that word. Gas prices are down to $2.60, and while that is generally considered high, it's not as high as you might think compared to the 80's. Most important though is that I have began snackage upon a new snack: bananas. Say what you want about the tragically phallic nature of this delicious fruit (no gay jokes or puns intended... really), but theyre fackin addictive as a mother. Eat one and you MUST eat another. I haven't had one banana in maybe a year. Once again, please, no jokes about "HAH you're an ugly gay guy!" Okay I give up this is too ripe for entertainment

Well, I have decided to start a movement: Interns Against Malicious Guises And Yearnings, or, NAMBLA. I won't participate, but I'm sure that famous former interns like Pat Robertson and the guy from Simple Plan would love to spearhead the effort... okay that one was a joke

RANDOM FACT:
First person to use a 16 track tape? Frank Zappa
Biggest concert draw for Brazil ever? Alice Cooper
Fattest sex icon ever? YOUR MOM (no joke intended, if you catch my drift wink wink nudge nudge... this was pure inane crap)

Edited

What I'm Listening to: the annoying sound effects of "Zelda: the Four Swords" or whatever from my brother's gamecube
What I'm Wearing: UT Shirt... don't talk about the game
Mood: I've had better, but so does everyone, so I'm good I guess O_o

It's been awhile since I've blogged, so I'll make this short and sweet. I've been reading a lot lately. Deep stuff... webcomics about urine jokes and murder mostly. I feel more enlightened every day.

Anyway this is actually a draft i saved a while ago but never got around to actually doing shit with... so yeah. I can't say what I woulda said... yeah
BYE

AGASSI #1!!!!@$%@#%WRGUHWRO!@$@

Andre has been voted the #1 most popular tennis player with 31% of the vote in a poll done by Time. Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet

mmk so this post was imcomplete, ill add some great quotes for your enjoyment:

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That’s his.
-Algernon from The Importance of Being Earnest

Of course the music is a great difficulty. You see, if one plays good music, people don't listen, and if one plays bad music people don't talk.

Algernon, Act I

Never speak disrespectfully of Society, Algernon. Only people who can’t get into it do that.
Lady Bracknell, Act III

more later i suppose

i apologize to those who know who they are

The Importance of Peeing Ernest

Twice, in separate times in separate continents by sheer coincidence, there lived a boy who possessed teh uncanny ability to shrink himself to any size desired and grow himself back instantaneously. Oh, and the boy's name was Ernest. Ernest B. Yoo. You might imagine that this strapping young lad, who was born into a relatively dipshitted family, would be able to use his gifts to limit his hunger, evade danger, and lead to a new age in science. He, however, preferred using it to sneak into bras. One day he stumbled upon a monstrous one, he licked his pervy, gifted lips with joy at the mere sight and stench of it. He shrank to the size of a flea and situated himself carefully inside it. Upon a woman entering, however, he proceeded to lose his lunch, in addition to the gum in his mouth and the AIDS medication he had taken. Yes, Ernest has AIDS, I told you he was a pervy kid. AIDS is a pandemic, and I would like to bring your attention to the main cause of this major crisis to health. Specifically, mass orgies. So kids, remember, orgy = DOOM. So I shall introduce the term: "Death Orgies Shouldn't Hurt Innocent Teens," or "NAMBLA" (Daily Show, how I love thee). Okay so Ernest is there in this bra puking cuz hes stuck there and the lady about to put it on... is his sister. She's not even a hot sister, and Ernest isn't white trash, so don't get any funny idears. He's stuck there, and when she puts it on, he's still puking and has to swallow it to avoid detection and dies. THE END

Yeah funky it happened twice

What I'm Listening to: (Anesthesia)--Pulling Teeth
Mood: Freakay, happy that I have another person on the "not going to act nice to my face and talk bad about me behind my back" list (short list), funkay (taken from the Poobah story, aks Emily M, my gf, or Katherine L about it), and also sad, but just for the purpose of songwriting don't read into it. HEY, just cuz I suck doesn't mean I can't write to try!! Paul wrote "When I'm Sixty-Four" at age 15!!!!!

So I was pwning these n00bs on Dust2...

Time magazine... what have you done? I know it's been this way for a while but this one in particular hit home. Ads on the fucking cover. It pisses me off. I have to rip it off. Don't ask why. But seriously... I knew it was coming, I knew that this horrible day was inevitable... I mean, it was only a matter of Time *tiddy boom*

Speaking of which, it's time for a new segment I'd like to call "pun police" woooo wooooo
NOTE: THESE ARE ALL REAL, I DIDN'T MAKE THEM UP! THEY'RE EITHER TOLD BY TEACHERS OR FROM TV

(after a racecar driver crashes into a beehive and gets stung like 50,000 times)
"Now he knows the sting of defeat!"

This is from South Park
"My name is Ms. Chokesondick"
"More like 'Ms. Makesmesick!'"

yeah this is bad for my brain im callin it quits here

Now for "Great Moments of ADD"
Actually I'm hungry ill finish it tomorrow prolly

The Ballad of a Maniacal Aussie

What I'm Listening to: Anesthesia (Pulling Teeth)
Mood: Trippy, In Shock and Awe, WTF, Giddy in a peculiar way, NOT HOMESICK!! W00t!!

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Well... not only is Andre gone for good, but STEVE IRWIN IS DEAD!! OMG!! Wow. Sting ray to the chest... ouch. What a way to go. Well, nobody expected him to die in a hospital bed of lung failure. Better to die doing what you love (for him, borderline suicidal behavoir) than to die bored and unloved... like me O_O. Apparently, before his gruesome demise, he acutally PULLED THE BARBED STINGER OUT OF HIS HEART!!!! Once again.... wow.

Nah jk, but still I am starting to have a mid-1/4 life crisis. I have noticed a receding hairline (upon cutting it) and a startling amount of times I've commented on younger siblings "sprouting like weeds." I feel like a geezer and I'm not even halfway through our education system. I'm going to be one miserable-ass forty year old. Seriously... this is a bad omen. Omens in general are bad, very seldom do good omens come true unless they later prove to be false and it was all just to make you happy then rip you down in a furious rage of being po'ed and asswipeyness!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH PRIMAL ROAR

Labor Day is here officially. I couldn't care less cept it will be a great day and I will have much better things to do than school....

L(A?)O: SVU

and shit

later bitches

TECHNORATI RANKING

What I'm Listening to: Mitch Hedberg
What I'm Wearing (I brought it back): UT Shirt and swimsuit
GUESS WHAT?!?!?! I JUST GOT THE LATEST RANKING FOR MY BLOG ON TECHNORATI!!! I'M 1,538,539!!! w00t
actually I suck... oh well

YOUR SUPPORT IS NEEDED!!!!! AHHHHHH

So I just got back in town... the radio is my new best friend. If not for that I would have died on the 8-9.5 hour trip. They played some latter-day Metallica, and I gotta say, IT SUCKED ASS. Maybe 4 riffs for the whole song, and the drums sounded like utter crap. Honestly.

I miss Ride the Lightning and Master of Puppets. Hell, even The Black Album is great by comparison!!!! Just goes to show you, once you're famous, even if you produce crap, it'll sell like hotcakes... hotcakes of crap.

This week I'll be trying out for a play... wish me luck. Someday I could be a famous actor. That'd be nice. Fame and fortune is always a plus. Then again I could be a shitty actor with no life and a sleazy apartment and borrowing money from my mom. Meh, fame and fortune is worth it

Post In Progress!!!

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I will be switching thanks to an article read in Wired magazine (i love that mag...)
this stlil has plenty and links to the rest

So anyway... I have compiled a list of favorite magazines as well.

Wired
Maximum PC
PCWorld Magazine
Guitar World
Playboy (jk)
Mormon's Monthly (jk again...)
Seventeen (not jk ;D )

Anyway, LATA BITCHES

Heroics

What I'm Listening to: Happiness is a Warm Gun/Sexy Sadie
What I'...... sorry! instinct...
Mood: good for the first time in maybe 3 weeks

Tonight's post will be brief, but nonetheless it may be the most personal and introspective post yet, which I'm sure will doom it to never be read again. Actually, I'm sure I'll think of something slightly funny halfway through and ruin it all. Oh well

Today has been odd. Not only have I felt importance for maybe the first time ever (actually thinking that the impact i have on people is worth anything bad that happens to me), but I also feel as though I have a thorough understanding of what I want in life. It's rather comforting to be honest. On that solemn note, poo

Acting Styles is maybe the greatest course ever. Hands down. Cept for certain people in that class.... maybe you O_O
probably not, though. don't worry

This will be my last post for a while. I'll be gone until Monday, so if anyone actually reads this while I'm gone, you pass the "awesomest friend ever" test. Or you're my dad scouring my computer. Tsk tsk tsk... naughty padre... why do I let you live in my house?

3 new songs I'm listening to: the aforementioned White Album tracks and Ride the Lightning. Check 'em out if you dig good music

later

And I Woulda Gotten Away With it, too, if it Weren't for you M******g Copyright Infringement laws!!!!!!!

August 30, Day 2 of school for you n00bs out there
What I'm Listening to: For Whom the Bell Tolls (the song... not the book, I'm not that psychotic)
Sadly, the 8 blog long tradition of "what I'm wearing" will be scrapped, simpy because I will be wearing school uniforms for 90% of the time I'm awake (I sleep in on weekends). *tear tear*
Mood: Exasperated, Happy as a Mofo (or, HAAM!!!!!!!!, as I commonly say), Glad I am not doing tennis tutorial so that I can try out for the play and improv troupe, and about to go Jihad on my HWs ass

Because I enjoy the luxury of not having a high standard for quality, I will temporarily leave this entry unfinished. You can probably guess it's theme (besides news and my life) by it's title. Knock yourself out. Maybe you will be the first to read the rest of my blog :O. Peace for now
To Be Continued....

Continued...
m'kay, so I am merely curious now... this is just a quick conclusion, ill save the rant for later, ohw maybe people actually read this? if you read this at all, please comment on the post. its kind of a test. thanks for bein loyal :) :)

Holy Shit, Batman!!

What I'm Listening to: Supernaut (Black Sabbath)
What I'm Wearing: US Open shirt, swimsuit, Bon Jovi wristband (they rule live)
Mood: At Peace with the World.... almost, Mellow, Tired, Melancholy as a Mofo, or "MaaM," my new catchphrase :D

To be honest, I'm not as disappointed about school starting as I would have imagined myself being. I actually kind of like having something to do as opposed to slowly withering away in front of a computer, wasting time. I'm sure I'll think otherwise once school starts, but w/e. Back to teh 1337 bloxxor: today I intend to share with you some of my personal favorite catchphrases OF ALL TIME!
They shall be ranked
They shall be reviewed
They shall not be forgotten

#1:"D'OH"
Homer Simpson's infamous cry of pain or anguish. It's even in the OED!!! OMG

#10:"Worst. Episode. Ever"
Comic Book Guy... we love you. This is just how all

#9:"KISS MY SHINY METAL ASS"
Bender... we love thee too (more). We all remember Futurama (which WILL be coming back next year, praise teh foo')

#2:"Bleebloivin Habba Dabba Chocolate Pudding"
Bill Cosby.... at least i think thats what he's saying

#*"You are the weakest link, goodbye"
does this count? w/e i like it

#~"I'm Rick James, bitch"
This sketch will far outlive Rick James' music... except "super freak" cuz that songs leet

#()"Holy ____, Batman"
This one actually saved the show from being cancelled, but it still sucks

Yeah that could have been much more fun, but w/e

Moonyinator out
no thats not taken off of seacrest out... seacrest sucks

The End of an Era

What I'm Listening to: Shuffling my entire library. Now it's "Strange Brew"
What I'm Wearing: UT Shirt, swimsuit, GD military style hat

Summer is over... there's not much to say, just it blows. I'm not concerned with much this year except how bored I am. To me, blogging is a way of being bored and hopefully entertaining your friends in the process. Once school starts, I will be bored in an entirely different way: a way that is far worse. At least it's only orientation tomorrow. Maybe I'll do something afterwards...

Now it's "Hungry Freaks, Daddy!" I love that song... ANYWHO I am looking forward to certain aspects of school. Specifically, I miss tennis, lunch, free periods, and leaving the most. Now it's "Uncle John's Band!!!" God, I'm taking forever to type.

I read the news, today, oh boy. It's time for TODAY IN POLITICKING-LAND!!!!

Well, some feel that Saddam Hussein should have been killed on the spot by US troops, just for simplicity. I think he deserves to die painfully, and thats what's happening. MARINES ARE FORCING HIM TO WATCH THE SOUTH PARK MOVIE!!! YOU HEARD ME! Saddam is being forced to watch himself be Satan's gay lover. There is a God...

An Israeli soldier was horribly wounded in Lebanon and was paralyzed from the chest down. The man is apparently a die-hard KISS fan, even with a poster above his hospital bed. Gene Simmons personally sent him a video saying that the soldier was his hero and that he wished he could be there with him. That's how to be famous, people. Other countries may have us beat in different ways (economics, business, education), but America definately has the coolest celebrities. USA! USA!

Now I'm listening to "Sexy Sadie." woooo.

The problem with blogging is I don't know what to talk about. I just thought of an interesting idea, however. What if I asked people how they think I would behave in a certain situation and vice versa? How well do people know me? Not too well, most likely. I barely know me.

Sorry to abruptly end, but summer did the same to me so it's fair

Fun With Babel-Fish

What I'm Wearing: Nike shirt, grey tennis shorts, ankle socks, dry fit hat
What I'm Listening to: A Day In The Life
Mood: Content, Distracted (hence the title of this article), in awe of the awesomeness of "Silence of the Lambs," tired, pretty bored

I decided to have fun with losing stuff in translation with the help of my friend babelfish (yes, the name's a Hitchhiker's Guide reference). I translated the second sentence of Of Mice and Men, by John Steinbeck. It is "the water is warm too, for it has slipped twinkling over the yellow sands in the sunlight before reaching the narrow pool." From English to Chinese, then back, then Greek, then French, then Italian, then English again, then something and back, then Korean and back, then Spanish, then French, then German, then English. Enjoy: "In instruction in the hard wash basin of the river in dinanzi lightning, over in the decadent sand in the lowfirst part to arrive as the light of the helium, the description under those slips, is hot adjacent waters."
Trippy, eh?

So today I watched "Silence of the Lambs," and 3 episodes of Law and Order: SVU. I must say, I've come to love that show and adore that movie. I don't know any other guys who watch Law and Order... I hope it's not a chick show O____o (I've resisted using that smiley since I started this blog). I just gotta review Silence of the Lambs, it's that good a movie.

REVIEW TIME... okay actually I'm basically gonna kiss this movie's ass. Not only is Jodie Foster like my favorite actress EVER, but Hannibal Lecter KICKS SO MUCH ASS!!! THE DUDE ATE A GUY'S FACE!!! CAN YOU SAY "BADASS?!?!?!?!" Seriously though, the movie is far from generic, and includes many brilliantly shot scenes, some genuinely scary moments, and near-constant suspense. You will NOT end the movie thinking it was stupid or implausible like most movies, with their overly dramatic deaths and bad guys who shoot just 1 inch behind the hero every time. Plus, you will sympathize with the very well developed characters, because seeing a mangled corpse of a friend or someone you know is far more powerful than one of a complete stranger. Watch it. You'll be impressed, I promise
-5 through +5, including zero. -5 = my little brother, +5 = my little brother in pain (just kidding... I love my brother although he is... little brotherly)
SILENCE O' TEH LAMBS B GETTIN' A +5, MON

I'll add random facts to this post later
maybe
not
BYE
moonyinator out

The Review to Begin All Bad Reviews

What I'm Listening to: Suite No. 2 In D Minor, BWV 1008 (Bach)
What I'm Wearing: The Doors shirt, cargo shorts, Grateful Dead hat, and ankle socks
Mood: Mellow, Pissed, Sarcastic, Cynical, Penis

This will be a more somber post than you or I am used to, but I won't try to act different than I feel. I recently checked out alexa.com, where they list the most popular websites in every country. I was rather suprised that Blogger.com is 14th in America. That severely lessens my chances of becoming a famous writer through blogs... but oh well. At least maybe they'll misspell their urls and see mine instead. Adult Friend Finder managed to acheive #37... my God we are a screwed up country. What did it beat out? MLB.com is #38. It seems getting it on with strangers has surpassed baseball as our national pasttime.

My house is a mess... I have 3 cups previously filled with water on my desk, a rag, notepad, case for splinter cell, guitar peg turner thing, pencil, gum, knife, 100 blank cds, a pedometer, camera, touching the void, GBA game case, eye drops, a marble, abc gum (on the notepad), a guitar pick, notebook paper, another rag, manuals to warcraft 3, and a miniature elephant... okay not the last one.

Looking at the top rentals on RottenTomatoes.com, I see Spike Lee's Inside Man at #1.
TIME FOR ANOTHER REVIEW

So this film starts chillingly. The lighting, camera-work, and acting all help add to the mood of this movie. It's one where you sort of figure out what is going on as time passes. The whole thing is gripping, clever, gritty, and professional. This is one movie you'll probably be talking about the whole way home and then some. I won't spoil a bit, but this is HIGHLY recommended. Jodie Foster's pretty kickass, too, just so ya kno
-5 through +5, -5 as the equivalent of sitting on a buzzsaw and +5 as the equivalent of spitting on lindsay lohan (hey, i find it fun), Inside Man gets a +4
Oh, Denzel, how you never cease to be ass-whoopin

night everyone

Fondue À La Mode

What I'm Listening to: The far-too-loud hum of my computer... I want a new comp :(
What I'm Wearing: A DIFFERENT dry-fit blue shirt, addidas shorts (blue as well by coincidence)
*NEW* Mood: Confused, Sad (I'm reading the news... it's horribly depressing), determined, PENIS

Okay, I feel like a complete idiot. I am about to share something that went through my mind as I scrolled to the bottom of cnn.com this morning. After reading about a tragic murder, a woman who was kidnapped and locked away for 8 years and forced to call her kidnapper "master," and a potential hurricane, the entertainment section caught my eye. I now understand the use of entertainment: keep our minds off of the REAL issues, but for a good reason. We can't take all the "drama!!!!" However, this is obvoius and pretty hackneyed (and hardly interesting), so I'll move on to the good part of the story. Thanks to the entertainment section, I shifted gears from being horrified to being... entertained. The headlines were:
• Cruise split highlights deeper issues
• 'Idol's' McPhee: No more 'weird eating things'

Now just below this gossip/drivel, something REALLY caught my eye:
• Cult leader gets date with executioner
• Killer's photo collection gives up a lead

Now remember, I was in my "entertainment" mindset. I swear to dog I said it out loud. "Wow... that sucks to be going out with the person who's about to waste ya."

Once I clicked through and saw the story, I smacked my forehead and realized that school and smartness and s**t aren't going to come easily this year. I'm in honors geometry and my 8th grade teacher put his neck on the line to get me there... yes, this is Mr. Martin, who wrote "moron" over the entire board to show what he thought of me and said I had been blessed with the common sense God gave a bottlecap. If I don't ace math this year, I will have hell to pay. That being said, I am still hoping that maybe I can just slack the whole year. Who knows? Maybe I'll pull it off. Oh well

REVIEW TIME
no crap is safe, and no good stuff will go unraved-about-ed

I shall now review something that is life-affirming to me: The Who on tour. After years of basically nothing cuz of working on the upcoming Who2, I thought my undying alleigance would pay off. I love The Who more than most of my fingers, and believe me, I cherish each and every one of those babies. Now Pete Townshend, Roger Daltrey, Zak Starkey (yes, Ringo's kid who is also in Oasis), keyboard(ist or er? I'm clueless) John "Rabbit" Bundrick, new bassist Pino Palladino (anyone makes comparisons to Enty, I'll have an aneurism), and co. have taken their legendary act on the road, and first stop is NORTH AMERICA!!! THAT'S WHERE THE REAL AMERICA IS! OMG! However, guess the closest state they come to. If you guessed Illinois, you're cheating most likely! There is one thing they have done to redeem themselves, however: live streaming of concerts. Even though I won't get to see The Who.... whom I have been patiently waiting for since the beginning of last year, I still must give kudos for STILL breaking new ground. I have seen some shows and they are in prime form... cept Daltrey but he's an effin geezer now
-5 to +5 (0 inclusive), -5 as the equivalent of being dumped by the love of your life and +5 as the equivalent of being dumped... into a vat of chocolate:
The Who's new tour gets a +2... cuz i dont get to see it

RANDOM FACTOIDS before I go:

More than half of the US's 12,000+ ft coastline is in Alaska. Along with more than half of our Eskimo Pie factories (you don't want to know what goes into Eskimo Pie)
Guess who invented the coat hanger? Some historians believe it was Thomas Jefferson! (between that and the Declaration he was pretty well rounded)
The Grateful Dead played 2,317 concerts in total (The Ramones may have done 2,263, but their shows were often a third of the length of one Grateful Dead SONG!!!!)
Blood doesnt attract mosquitoes, they like the scent of bacteria growing on your skin. Don't think this means that if you rub hand sanitizer all over you its as good as bug spray, however

Well that about does it for today, I'm stranded at home and bored shitless. If you're willing to do something and pick me up, I'm always game. Peace. Moonyinator out

Breaking News!! Rip Down Those Old Science Posters!

What I'm Wearing: Same as before, it's the same day, knumb-knuts. What I'm Listening to: Heartbreaker
Everyone, it's official. Pluto is not a planet anymore. The definition of "planet" has been changed to "(a) celestial body that is in orbit around the Sun, has sufficient mass for its self-gravity to overcome rigid body forces so that it assumes a hydrostatic equilibrium (nearly round) shape, and has cleared the neighbourhood around its orbit" Anything that doesn't meet the last requirement is either a dwarf planet or a satellite. Well, to be honest, I'm relieved that the International Astronomical Union has forsaken their old, vague definition that left holes for argument. It wasn't their fault, planets started out with a definition of being pushed by bloody angels. Now that they can make "planet" mean whatever they want, you'd expect these high-brow nitpickers to be able to start fresh and give a perfect definition that can't be argued. They use very exact, precise, scientific terms, like "neighborhood," and on a side-note, WHO DECIDES WHATS NEARLY ROUND?!?!?! sigh... IAU, you deserve a ferret in the crotch. At least this solves the problem of whether or not large asteroids and Kuiper Belt shiz qualifies, but apparently Charon lives down the block from ol' Pluto. Shot down.

If you haven't noticed, I have been updating and will be updating old posts to make them less... bad, so check 'em out every few days or so and you might find a new joke or a new spelling :P

So far, my blog has been pretty well recieved, even inspiring my old, dear friend to take back up the noble pursuit of wasting time and recording it being done (www.bsmith91.blogspot.com). I even inspired a second person (www.nondumblonde.blogspot.com)!!! They're both great blogs, check 'em out. Thank you for your undying support... you noble 3-4 people, you. Someday, I hope to have at least 10 people following this blog. Maybe someday much later, 50. Hu b da 1 hu nos? Please! I work hard on this baby and every time you look you do me a favor. Thanks again, you're the greatest.

Before I leave you, I would like you to know some of my inspirations for taking up blogging. Hayden, because it was the first time i ever saw blogspot. Wait, I forgot, Sara's was. NVM, W/E, AYBABTU, LEEROY JENKINS, GOD. So kudos to Sara, Caro (whom I barely know in real life), and Katherine for being the first peopel to have a blog I liked. K in particular, just cuz I read hers most (sorry others!).

PEACE, and I would like to leave you with a random factoid or 2:

As you talk, earwax comes out of your ears... gross
Koalas sleep 22 hours a day (they live the life)
Apparently, there's no word that rhymes with either "orange," or "month" (no, "gunth," short for "gunther" doesn't count)
Mosquitos prefer children to adults and blondes to brunettes... my blonde friends, i feel for ya
More people have seen David Copperfield perform live than any other performer in the world... but more people have seen jenna jameson "perform" alone
Bluebird's cannot see the color blue (how do they avoid mating with crows?!?!)

anyway

Munoz out

Another Foray Into My Mind... You've Been Warned

What I'm Listening to: Nothing, I Don't Want More Tinnitis!!... but towards the end ill give in and it will be "Truckin'" What I'm Wearing: Dry Fit Shirt

This day was destined to suck
It began with a ring... the doorbell. I thought to myself "F**KIN' A!!! It's the painters!!! I hope my brother is awake." Another ring. I rolled over and moaned (no innuendo, folks). I thought "PLEASE, GOD, LET MY LITTLE BROTHER BE OF USE FOR ONCE!!!" I started to drift off back into sweet sleep... then a final ring of doom.
It didnt get much better after that.
My lazy-ass foo' brother never seems to be able to get up. However, I used this to my advantage today. If you've never poured ice-cold water on someone asleep, try it. It's fun. However, they will get revenge, which is why my dry-fit shirt is soaking wet and I'm still wide the f**k awake.

Blogging is appealing to me because I can get an accurate snapshot of my thoughts at any given point in time (right now, I can only get one for 1 day ago). For that purpose, and I suppose your entertainment, I shall give birth to a NEW HOPEFULLY RECURRING SEGMENT: My life in 4 words
Slacker... but I care

Mmmmmmmmmm i am running out of crappy talking subjects so its time for a review!!

actually, I'll spare you from a review of something you already know i like, so why dont you TELL ME what you'd like to hear about. If I had my way, this blog would be even more uninteresting and unintelligible and almost entirely dedicated to ritz-bitz, classic rock, and Monty Python jokes you've all heard a thousand times. Now i will venture a guess for what you want me to do, and it's not shut the hell up, its... its....

TODAY IN POLITICKING-LAND

Breakthrough technology in stem-cells, as scientists have developed a techinique that will (ideally) SAVE THE EMBRYO!!! THATS RIGHT!!! YOU HEARD ME! It appears as though this new method, which involves taking one cell after the embryo has become 8 in total, will resolve the entire issue, right?
WRONG
While the method is naturally not 100% infallible, nothing is. This is plenty for the Catholic Church (who never fail to make me proud, from Holy Crusadin' and massacring those who differ to their intolerance of... anything) to bitch about. In discovering this technique, many embryos were destroyed. BIG WHOOP. It's over. STOP COMPLAINING!! Live in the now, senor popey, or is that too much to ask? Now, to explain why I like this technique, I will simply quote one of the 4 articles ive read on it. "(the) method... is derivative of a diagnostic technique used in in vitro fertilization known as preimplantation genetic diagnosis (PGD). In order to test embryos thought to be at risk for serious genetic defects, PGD removes a single cell, or blastomere, from a couple’s embryo and examines it in a lab for irregularities. If determined to be healthy, the embryo can then, in many cases, be implanted into a woman’s uterus and is able to regenerate the lost cell and continue developing. In practice, Lanza’s technique would take a blastomere from an embryo donated for PGD, allow it to divide, and use the new cells to create stem-cell lines while sending one of the cells off for genetic diagnosis." alright, so that seems logical. However, some scientists have disapproved of the idea, saying that removing a cell could cause potential health problems. That seems entirely plausible, but this makes one thing certain. This process wouldnt even be necessary if not for people like Bush (who used his first veto against it) and Pat Robertson (the guy's as much of a tool as carson daly... plus hes INSANE) who cling to ancient values to avoid thinking for themselves. the one certain thing that i mentioned earlier is this...

ALL OF OUR PROBLEMS WOULD BE EASIER IF ASSASSINATION WERE LEGAL!!!!!!!!!

Some targets:
Bush, Kerry, Pat Robertson, Sid Vicous.... his corpse at least, the critic who walked out of Clerks II, Lennon's killer (DONT SAY HIS NAME... it makes him more famous, giving him sick satisfaction), Lindsay Lohan for being in a movie about John Lennon that makes his murderer more famous.... sigh, Hilary Duff... because i feel liek it, Your Mom, people who dislike this blog (sleep with one eye open), and dave letterman... wait i like him screw that

Ok so this post was kinda weird... im getting the hang of this though so bear with me

lastly ill give a quickie review of something... a movie that all of you have probably seen
Will Ferrell's TALLADEGA NIGHTS: THE BALLAD OF RICKY BOBBY

First off, this movie is undeniably funny. Nobody can bash that there are many snort-worthy lines in this cheesy flick. Will Ferrell nails his role head-on enough to where you expect him to sprout a mullet and buck teeth. The plot makes little sense, but whatever, its a friggin comedy. Now for the downsides... this movie would suck on television because not only are there commercials between parts of the movie, there are commercials IN THE @^#%^$$%$%@!&!#);D#&$^&%$ MOVIE!!! It's kind of a sell-out in that sense, and the actual applebee's commercial in it is completely unnecessary and unfunny. Plus, the second time, I barely even chuckled, much less snorted my boogers up to my brain like the first time. The lines are funny enough to quote and not be considered even more of a loser, and its worth seeing, but this is nowhere near as funny as some stuff out there and has a decent enough plot... but nothing special.

-5 through +5 (0 inclusive), with +5 being a walk in the park with the love of your life and -5 being a walk in the park with a bum stalking you and suspiciously eyeing your butt and a hurricane coming in
This movie gets a +2.5
woot

Thats about it. The first draft of this post sucked harder than Monica Lewinsky, but with a few rewrites and edits I think it's become readable. BTW: now I'm listening to "Peaches on Regalia"
Questions? Comments? Legitimate beefs? I owe you money? You have my e-mail and probably my number. Personally, I like my blog, and I hope you will, too, so help me out, here!!

Moonyinator out

The First Rant

tonight is august 23, currently listening to "Children of the Grave," currently wearing a T-Bar shirt
after many many months of denial and trying to convince myself otherwise, ive decided i need a blog. too much shit on my mind and too many friends who dont want it forced down their throats. Now, you can be offended and (on occasion) repulsed at your own leisure. basically, the way i intend to write is simple and clean. type what the voice in my head says and look over and remove any ethnic or religious slurs at the end (the voice in my head is a son of a bitch). topics for this blog will be harsh reviews of whatever im doing at the time and rants when my creative kiddie-pool (not quite a cesspool yet) runs dry. first off, a few days ago i saw a movie with some friends...... (and a stranger, and eichenwald... jk adam)

Accepted is the title of this college humor/rom com/feel good/fight the power/teenage movie. in my opinion, the movie is completely driven by a few funny characters. the rest blow. the lead role of "bartleby gaines" is supposed to be likeable, but the guys a douche and blows his semi funny lines. lewis black cameos... its not as good as youd think. its like "Back in Black," but his comedy is supposed to teach kids. The movie is implausible (the rejects who attended the school and magically had dorms would never want to learn, thats why they were rejected), and the plot is completely predictable. the characters have all been seen before a million times (the fat, unpopular sidekick whos a whiz, the black guy, the girl, the parents), and those who havent SHOULD have been the stars (the eccentric guy w/the fro, lewis black, the "blow shit up with my mind" fellow, the pizza delivery guy turned rocker, and the beanpole w/add). all in all, its got the makings of a feel-good, fun summer comedy. however, its use of stereotypes keeps it from being like animal house or something and lowers it to the status of a college comedy aimed at teens who like their movies to be all about stereotypes and in the comfort zone. i laughed, but would never see it again cuz between the laughs, theres nothing
this movie gets the first review of my life and i have a new system. i will award movies/music/whatever between -5 and +5, -5 being the guy who invented ska and +5 being the person who invented sex

Accepted gets a +1

one thing i noticed in this movie, the "likeable" main character "B" uses a mac. hes going to college. guess who macs are supposed to sell to? macs are now being used as a fashion statement and used by "cool" (in the most sarcastic way possible) people by apple to START that trend. dont be their pawn, focus on the reality of the situation. macs are spectacular, but dont get them for the wrong reason. and please, dont bash pc users. we have HL2 and Civ-IV, so whatever you say doesnt even matter. "but macs can run windows," i dont care. im not buying a new computer and copy of windows just for the pretty looks. plus, i like my double click and microsofts jerky about letting others enjoy it. in conclusion, macs are alright, but dont try to convert me. if i had the money (and a new guitar, and a new amp, and a new pc, and a copy of "We're Only In It For The Money," AND a new tennis racket), i would probably get a mac, m'kay?

Thats about it. Feedback? Comments? Concerns? Legitimate beefs? Pregnant with my kid? Drop me a line, or just IM me or use FB or MySpace or comment, W/E, I'd like to know. Your recommendations are totally welcome. Most posts won't be half this long, so don't worry about that.

Moonyinator out