The Importance of Peeing Ernest

Twice, in separate times in separate continents by sheer coincidence, there lived a boy who possessed teh uncanny ability to shrink himself to any size desired and grow himself back instantaneously. Oh, and the boy's name was Ernest. Ernest B. Yoo. You might imagine that this strapping young lad, who was born into a relatively dipshitted family, would be able to use his gifts to limit his hunger, evade danger, and lead to a new age in science. He, however, preferred using it to sneak into bras. One day he stumbled upon a monstrous one, he licked his pervy, gifted lips with joy at the mere sight and stench of it. He shrank to the size of a flea and situated himself carefully inside it. Upon a woman entering, however, he proceeded to lose his lunch, in addition to the gum in his mouth and the AIDS medication he had taken. Yes, Ernest has AIDS, I told you he was a pervy kid. AIDS is a pandemic, and I would like to bring your attention to the main cause of this major crisis to health. Specifically, mass orgies. So kids, remember, orgy = DOOM. So I shall introduce the term: "Death Orgies Shouldn't Hurt Innocent Teens," or "NAMBLA" (Daily Show, how I love thee). Okay so Ernest is there in this bra puking cuz hes stuck there and the lady about to put it on... is his sister. She's not even a hot sister, and Ernest isn't white trash, so don't get any funny idears. He's stuck there, and when she puts it on, he's still puking and has to swallow it to avoid detection and dies. THE END

Yeah funky it happened twice

What I'm Listening to: (Anesthesia)--Pulling Teeth
Mood: Freakay, happy that I have another person on the "not going to act nice to my face and talk bad about me behind my back" list (short list), funkay (taken from the Poobah story, aks Emily M, my gf, or Katherine L about it), and also sad, but just for the purpose of songwriting don't read into it. HEY, just cuz I suck doesn't mean I can't write to try!! Paul wrote "When I'm Sixty-Four" at age 15!!!!!

So I was pwning these n00bs on Dust2...

Time magazine... what have you done? I know it's been this way for a while but this one in particular hit home. Ads on the fucking cover. It pisses me off. I have to rip it off. Don't ask why. But seriously... I knew it was coming, I knew that this horrible day was inevitable... I mean, it was only a matter of Time *tiddy boom*

Speaking of which, it's time for a new segment I'd like to call "pun police" woooo wooooo
NOTE: THESE ARE ALL REAL, I DIDN'T MAKE THEM UP! THEY'RE EITHER TOLD BY TEACHERS OR FROM TV

(after a racecar driver crashes into a beehive and gets stung like 50,000 times)
"Now he knows the sting of defeat!"

This is from South Park
"My name is Ms. Chokesondick"
"More like 'Ms. Makesmesick!'"

yeah this is bad for my brain im callin it quits here

Now for "Great Moments of ADD"
Actually I'm hungry ill finish it tomorrow prolly