Owned by a Ten Year Old Girl

The last Friday of school, I was at tennis practice (pre-qualified, I will admit it). The groups were interesting, me and Hersch (or as I like to call him, Herschey) were with all girls because we are "ladies' men." The other people in our group were two freshmen from Hockaday I'm not horribly familiar with (Kate and Aline or something along those lines) and two best friends under ten years old, Natalie and _______ (mind blank). Natalie and _______ (I'll fill it in tomorrow) together kept taunting me after I eked out a victory in a drill. It was sudden death (I have a fear of sudden death), and me and ______ were facing off for the right not to run extra. Everybody else chose who they wanted to side with. Only Herschey stuck with me, but sure enough everybody's belief that a girl half my size would beat me ended up blowing up in their faces... yes I got lucky
So Natalie and _____ start teasing me a bit, eventually asking questions about me. Here are some examples:

"How many friends do you have?"
"4: Timmy, Jimmy, Bimmy, and Eustace."
"Only four friends?! *LOL*"

"Do you have a girlfriend?"
... This one was the scathing one. After a sigh and a "no," I got the heat. I then asked if they had boyfriends, proceeding to do my "OOOooooooooooooooooooh" dance right after that saying "OOOooooooooooooooooooooooh..." not really

This was after I didn't exactly... "stop" when running for a drop volley, hitting my thumb on the wire holding up the net, which was surprisingly painful. My thumb was red and swollen, so I was kinda ______ing (forgot the word) it. This is mostly paraphrasing
"What's wrong with your thumb?"
"It hurts"
"Do you have a mole? Is that what hurts?"
"Yes, actually, I was born without a thumb, but I had a rather large mole next to it. With a little makeup and cosmetic surgery, the doctors got it to look pretty real"
They then proceeded to laugh. When the mumblers (the Hock freshwomen... if that's not h@x to say) came into the line we were waiting in, they then said "GUESS WHAT HE SAID!" Next was one of the weirdest things ever. I think I said "those kids and their crazy imaginations."

"Did you go to Homecoming?"
"Yes"
This question intrigued me. How would they know about Homecoming? I'm fourteen, they probably think I'm going to prom and about to graduate college or something (older kids are all the same).

"Who was your date?"
"Katherine"
This time, I was looking in their direction beforehand, so I saw when they scampered over to Aline (sp!??!) and Kate (sp?...?), who then inquired quietly the last name to Natalie and ______. I didn't know what the hell was happening, but I think I was being stalk-mocked O.o I then said "what," or something, and it was suddenly time for the next drill/game

Yeah I'm totally confused about that, and I haven't been to tennis since, so I don't know what the hell went on to this very day

Phish Quote in order
I'm gradually changing Travis from "Travis" -> "Trvis" -> " Trvs" -> "Tvs" -> " Tv" -> "T" -> " "
when he reaches " " he will be in his ultimate form, and will be unstoppable

Update on I Can't Believe It's Not Travis

The actual post... I'll make when I get around to it.

enjoy it

And to add some so this isn't a complete waste of a post (even though iCBiNT is fantastic, kudos), I must say December has been my most productive month blogging wise, but some of these posts should have been combined. This would not produce a "super post" (those are probably hax legally anyway), but maybe something that could pass off as readable to the untrained eye, like mine. I really should add more to those needing more... maybe reviews?

The last boss IRL is Bob Saget, Chuck Norris, and Jesus tied together
-Phish, during a philosophical metaphor of typical video game structure

The Two-Parter: RANDOM and Comments on The OHB

Okay I just had a thought and it had to be said... wait according to whatever is checking this "okay" is not spelled correctly... this is weird. Well anyway the thought was on Stravinsky's "The Rite of Spring," and I'm fully aware I suck so bad I shouldn't be allowed to say the poorly translated name, but I got the bassoon intro to see if my brother could play it. "What a retard, playing bassoon in treble clef," said he... wow... nuff said. Oh, so "nuff" isn't spelled correctly either, Blogger not Beta?!??! Fine.

ANYWAY AGAIN back to The Rite of Spring, I'm lookin (again with the blogger spell checking...) at the bassoon intro's (spell check!??!?!) sheet music, and apparently the first notes are quintuplets. The next thing I said (the aforementioned thought) was "is that legal?!?!" Seriously, this is so hard to comprehend, becoming a world class musician just got that much harder for me. Damn you, good music. Oh and Blogger is out of Beta today. Very nice

This also needs more added once I wake up

OH I REMEMBER THE OTHER THOUGHT I THOUGHT

So far, FIVE people have created their own blogs after reading mine (cept one sorta not but you don't need to know about that)!!! Thank you for making me feel useful

Oh, and before I forget, I have some comments (not the kind you leave, just... me... commenting) on my blog. The only recurring sentiment about my beloved text baby is that it absolutely reeks of my mannerisms and "tude." Or, in their words, they can picture me saying everything that I post. I'm pretty sure that's a compliment, but then again, I'm not exactly a fantastic speaker... But I'll take it as a compliment anyway!!

This is passable as a post, right? Good... I've trained you noble few (emphasis on few) readers well

Someone: Wassup
Me: Trying to pass some text off as a blog post

True story, there

need sleeeeeeep... and blackouts SUCK

A Look Inside the Upcoming, "A Very Strange Day, Indeedy"

This, ladies and assorted others, is a draft. This is both a way to show you how I prepare for a post if I don't feel like completing it AND a way for me to not have to actually make a post (ie this post is just me making an excuse to post an unfinished post). Terribly interesting, I know.

-Sprint to the door in english
-no shoes, thought i had them, confronted by Fx and ignored by baird
-free fresca, chick fil a
-no phish quotes
-giancarlos father died. this is not funny. seriously... but forget about it now because......
-epilepsy, however, is hilarious

Yeah, I probably will finish the above post (which is rather old) later, but this one is DONE, SON. Actually, don't be surprised if I just copy and paste an email about that above thing and call it a post... However I need some quotes before this is done

Moomoocrunchy 01: so, how was that gathering?
Moomoocrunchy 01: not a party, of course

There must've been at least a thousand quotes from tonight, but I can't remember... maybe one about Sean having relations with a goat according to a high police officer but it was actually Matthew who was also high along with Sean and myself...

This is to be edited for de-crapification

How can one follow up the greatest picture ever?

Quite simply, actually, you can't. Therefore I shall make a normal blog post and hope people forget the one time this blog rose to something AWESOME and think it's funny again. How can I be funny, you might ask. The answer is simple: use other people's mistakes:

Didn't T.S. Elliot win the Nobel Prize for literacy?
-Sid

UltraPhish: steam requires "64mb RAM"
virtuosonot42: no wonder you cant run it
UltraPhish: baby jesus save anyone with 64mb of RAM or less

UltraPhish: woot your blog now has aslightly more posts tagged with "Phish" than "Penis"
I shall soon fix this, don't you worry...

this is a work in progress but ive really gotta put SOMETHING new up


Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

The Greatest Picture Ever

THIS IS IT!!!!


First off, this is not my picture, this masterpiece is Phish's doing. Plus, I didn't even ask permission to post this even though it's not mine or in any way affiliated with me... whatever it's the greatest picture ever. Love the picture. Be the picture. I can't believe it's not travis... greatest socca ball games ever.


Now that I have created "I Can't Believe It's Not Travis," what is there left for me in life? I've practically beaten the last boss... of life
-Phish

Psychedelica

The following actual quotations are merely examples of why doctors recommend getting hours (PLURAL) of sleep at night:

"Hey Phish, to win at fencing, why don't you just go *fffp*"

"Sweeping is like backwards hoeing... see, *makes a push-broom motion* fishing is just like backwards hoeing.... wait..."

"I would never hire him. EVER. Unless I hired him as a man-slave... NOT THAT WAY"

yeah...

Sadly, these outright treasons against the royal institution of Lernin' Engrish are not my only crimes against humanity. For example:

"The question cannot be answered as there is not enough given information. Specifically, it is never specified whether or not the trajectory will peak past the given elapsed time and cannot be proven, so only the demented creators of this ungodly exam know the answer to this question, and I refuse to kiss ass to find it."
-The last answer to the Algebra I exam. While technically correct, points were deducted for verbosity, points that kept me from a perfect exam

AGASSI #1!!!!@$%@#%WRGUHWRO!@$@

Andre has been voted the #1 most popular tennis player with 31% of the vote in a poll done by Time. Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet

mmk so this post was imcomplete, ill add some great quotes for your enjoyment:

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That’s his.
-Algernon from The Importance of Being Earnest

Of course the music is a great difficulty. You see, if one plays good music, people don't listen, and if one plays bad music people don't talk.

Algernon, Act I

Never speak disrespectfully of Society, Algernon. Only people who can’t get into it do that.
Lady Bracknell, Act III

more later i suppose

i apologize to those who know who they are