The Glass Leotard

The title, just so you know, is a completely incoherent combination of three completely unrelated words. An interesting coincidence, this property holds true to any three words, consecutive or not, taken from this blog. Just something to chew over in your mind... with your mind teeth...

So I've been reading a lot of music theory as of late, and I would just like to once again assure my fans that I will not betray my humble roots and will continue to suck. No worries. However, I am having fun with different chord voicings, which I am (you guessed it) not exactly adept at employing. In addition, I've noticed that this is MY first post this year... I'll have to properly disown Phish's post just as I'm sure your parents would love to do to you... the truth hurts... but it's what the people want

Still can't think of a band name... so no real point in doing anything musical since there's just nowhere to go without a chipmunk-squashingly good name. Speaking of which... I have finally begun learning to produce music thanks to the "Music Production Club" (or digital music or something along those lines), so watch out people with good taste: I'm coming for ya... and stuff... god it's hard to blog

So... lastly... RHCP concert tomorrow... tennis as well... it should be fun... if I could write like this for history, the paper would seem much less daunting... I'll de-shit this later

RANDOM FACT

Ancient Romans used to think unibrows were sexy... as if thats odd...

Owned by a Ten Year Old Girl

The last Friday of school, I was at tennis practice (pre-qualified, I will admit it). The groups were interesting, me and Hersch (or as I like to call him, Herschey) were with all girls because we are "ladies' men." The other people in our group were two freshmen from Hockaday I'm not horribly familiar with (Kate and Aline or something along those lines) and two best friends under ten years old, Natalie and _______ (mind blank). Natalie and _______ (I'll fill it in tomorrow) together kept taunting me after I eked out a victory in a drill. It was sudden death (I have a fear of sudden death), and me and ______ were facing off for the right not to run extra. Everybody else chose who they wanted to side with. Only Herschey stuck with me, but sure enough everybody's belief that a girl half my size would beat me ended up blowing up in their faces... yes I got lucky
So Natalie and _____ start teasing me a bit, eventually asking questions about me. Here are some examples:

"How many friends do you have?"
"4: Timmy, Jimmy, Bimmy, and Eustace."
"Only four friends?! *LOL*"

"Do you have a girlfriend?"
... This one was the scathing one. After a sigh and a "no," I got the heat. I then asked if they had boyfriends, proceeding to do my "OOOooooooooooooooooooh" dance right after that saying "OOOooooooooooooooooooooooh..." not really

This was after I didn't exactly... "stop" when running for a drop volley, hitting my thumb on the wire holding up the net, which was surprisingly painful. My thumb was red and swollen, so I was kinda ______ing (forgot the word) it. This is mostly paraphrasing
"What's wrong with your thumb?"
"It hurts"
"Do you have a mole? Is that what hurts?"
"Yes, actually, I was born without a thumb, but I had a rather large mole next to it. With a little makeup and cosmetic surgery, the doctors got it to look pretty real"
They then proceeded to laugh. When the mumblers (the Hock freshwomen... if that's not h@x to say) came into the line we were waiting in, they then said "GUESS WHAT HE SAID!" Next was one of the weirdest things ever. I think I said "those kids and their crazy imaginations."

"Did you go to Homecoming?"
"Yes"
This question intrigued me. How would they know about Homecoming? I'm fourteen, they probably think I'm going to prom and about to graduate college or something (older kids are all the same).

"Who was your date?"
"Katherine"
This time, I was looking in their direction beforehand, so I saw when they scampered over to Aline (sp!??!) and Kate (sp?...?), who then inquired quietly the last name to Natalie and ______. I didn't know what the hell was happening, but I think I was being stalk-mocked O.o I then said "what," or something, and it was suddenly time for the next drill/game

Yeah I'm totally confused about that, and I haven't been to tennis since, so I don't know what the hell went on to this very day

Phish Quote in order
I'm gradually changing Travis from "Travis" -> "Trvis" -> " Trvs" -> "Tvs" -> " Tv" -> "T" -> " "
when he reaches " " he will be in his ultimate form, and will be unstoppable

Update on I Can't Believe It's Not Travis

The actual post... I'll make when I get around to it.

enjoy it

And to add some so this isn't a complete waste of a post (even though iCBiNT is fantastic, kudos), I must say December has been my most productive month blogging wise, but some of these posts should have been combined. This would not produce a "super post" (those are probably hax legally anyway), but maybe something that could pass off as readable to the untrained eye, like mine. I really should add more to those needing more... maybe reviews?

The last boss IRL is Bob Saget, Chuck Norris, and Jesus tied together
-Phish, during a philosophical metaphor of typical video game structure

How can one follow up the greatest picture ever?

Quite simply, actually, you can't. Therefore I shall make a normal blog post and hope people forget the one time this blog rose to something AWESOME and think it's funny again. How can I be funny, you might ask. The answer is simple: use other people's mistakes:

Didn't T.S. Elliot win the Nobel Prize for literacy?
-Sid

UltraPhish: steam requires "64mb RAM"
virtuosonot42: no wonder you cant run it
UltraPhish: baby jesus save anyone with 64mb of RAM or less

UltraPhish: woot your blog now has aslightly more posts tagged with "Phish" than "Penis"
I shall soon fix this, don't you worry...

this is a work in progress but ive really gotta put SOMETHING new up


Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

The Greatest Picture Ever

THIS IS IT!!!!


First off, this is not my picture, this masterpiece is Phish's doing. Plus, I didn't even ask permission to post this even though it's not mine or in any way affiliated with me... whatever it's the greatest picture ever. Love the picture. Be the picture. I can't believe it's not travis... greatest socca ball games ever.


Now that I have created "I Can't Believe It's Not Travis," what is there left for me in life? I've practically beaten the last boss... of life
-Phish

The New Frontiers

Well after a few weeks of creative block (ie actually doing things with my life... jk not really) I return to the scene with an actual entry instead of random youtube videos. My recent actions and "content-less additions" (no jokes about that being my blog as well), which you should immediately notice when you look at this page, might implicate me as a sell-out. Personally, I don't believe I qualify for "sell-outage" because I simply have nothing to sell out for. Quite frankly, these annoying-ass ***s (which I'm legally bound not to mention) are pissing me off for almost nothing. Support me but without breaking the law *wink*. So anyway.. I'm tired of talking, you talk now. peace

*Insert Phish quote ASAP*

Change is good because there's no way this could get worse

So as of today, this blog is no longer the sole intellectual property of myself, the sultan of whoopass. Now, Phish has decided to help out because he is really really bored, just as I am! After many many pathetic attempts at making this site pretty and organized on the level of code and stuff, I had just about given up on it all. However, things are still rough, making ad revenue harder to come by, but I'd imagine that the few people who visit me on the web are at least sorta amused. Plus, I think I will start posting external stuff on here for some net entertainment that will save you time spent finding it. Youtube has a great feature to help me in that regard, so now you should have more entertaining things to do on here besides listen to me.

"wow pope innocent III initiated the 4th crusade, thats deliciously ironic" - Phish

An Interesting Revelation (To Me, at Least)

I've realized that rap is amazing for this simple reason: it is based off of rhyme, and with contemporary word pronunciation and great stride in ebonics theory, the word "control" rhymes with "floor." This also holds true in crap Japanese pronunciation. You can then reason that rappers mutilate the language, but they make so much money by doing so, they win!

*scratches head*

monologues tomorrow

gone over mine until i want to strangle it

thats it, ive lost it

*strangle strangle strangle*

quoth the monologue:
"ow"

A new tradition has begun: every blog post *must* end in a Phish quote. Now, if my blog slows down, don't blame me for being lazy, blame Phish for not being funny enough (and me for not remembering what he says...)
Me: So Phish we need to
Phish: What's that? Oh, I'm sorry, I can't hear you over how awesome I am

Psychedelica

The following actual quotations are merely examples of why doctors recommend getting hours (PLURAL) of sleep at night:

"Hey Phish, to win at fencing, why don't you just go *fffp*"

"Sweeping is like backwards hoeing... see, *makes a push-broom motion* fishing is just like backwards hoeing.... wait..."

"I would never hire him. EVER. Unless I hired him as a man-slave... NOT THAT WAY"

yeah...

Sadly, these outright treasons against the royal institution of Lernin' Engrish are not my only crimes against humanity. For example:

"The question cannot be answered as there is not enough given information. Specifically, it is never specified whether or not the trajectory will peak past the given elapsed time and cannot be proven, so only the demented creators of this ungodly exam know the answer to this question, and I refuse to kiss ass to find it."
-The last answer to the Algebra I exam. While technically correct, points were deducted for verbosity, points that kept me from a perfect exam