This in no way suggests my political beliefs... ellipse and rhetorical question, anyone?

So on America's newest, most appealing new medium for political conversation and "look-at-me"-isms, Facebook.com, has probably changed hundreds of millions of lives by now. After hundreds of thousands joined in support, nearly 500 dollars were donated to Darfur. Facebook finally makes politics "cool," since you know what all your friends are doing. Finally... a way to get through to the children. Regardless, the reason I'm here to blog to you today is the latest Facebolitical campaign, "Day of Silence 2007." Here is a sample of what they're peddling:

The Day of Silence is an annual event held to commemorate and protest anti-LGBT bullying, harassment and discrimination in schools. Students and teachers nationwide will observe the day in silence to echo the silence that LGBT and ally students face everyday. In it's 11th year, the Day of Silence is one of the largest student-led actions in the country.

Basically, they're trying to alienate those expressing their feelings about gays, which is un-American. They are BULLYING these innocent racists and gay-haters. Bastards.

Seriously:
This could legitimately be halted if the protest goes on in public schools and is enough to "disturb the peace." Although this might seem like a violation of rights, protest legally should not interfere this way, and besides, those participating are not imploring the government for anything (and by the way it had to be a schoolday, since nobody would ever give up a weekend). If people are quiet during classes, or if the event just affects the day enough to warrant the label "disturbance," it can be canceled, and will be appealed, naturally, but the child will lose. However, since it's a one-day thing, and most won't actually be silent the WHOLE day (some are mute), the likelihood of intervention is almost nilcho (mmmm non-existant nacho)
I think homophobia and racism are usually inveterate conditions, usually stemming from childhood, household, and work environment or compelling personal experiences and people that profoundly affected (or consistently were in) the lives of those harboring them. Such deep hatred is a complicated issue, and not doing anything about it all at once across the country for a day probably won't do shit, and if it does anything, it will only force hateful people to swallow their true emotions instead of confronting and dealing with them. I think we should just have a GAY HISTORY MONTH!!! That would SOooooOOoo totally work! Nah, I think that the best way to convince those with hatred (many are almost/just are incurable) that gays are equals is to distinguish homosexuality from a sin and show the beauty of what homosexuals can accomplish (just as much as a heterosexual can). History should be taught. Discussions and confrontations should take place. Or, maybe, if we close our mouths and eyes and look up to the skies, they will see the error of their ways.

Additionally, this marks the start of a new type of TLP: fewer, longer, de-sucked posts. They will usually be literary, sometimes just normal blogospherical goodness. This would be the latter. However, I will be updating at least once a week from now on, to hopefully build up a place where i can edit papers and save them someday, in case I need some for college or if I elect to be a writer. I just deleted a 10 line long "to be or not to be" joke... thank me later, PAX SYROMANA BITCHES


EDIT:
I forgot to add that they're selling t-shirts. How noble

The Importance of Peeing Ernest

Twice, in separate times in separate continents by sheer coincidence, there lived a boy who possessed teh uncanny ability to shrink himself to any size desired and grow himself back instantaneously. Oh, and the boy's name was Ernest. Ernest B. Yoo. You might imagine that this strapping young lad, who was born into a relatively dipshitted family, would be able to use his gifts to limit his hunger, evade danger, and lead to a new age in science. He, however, preferred using it to sneak into bras. One day he stumbled upon a monstrous one, he licked his pervy, gifted lips with joy at the mere sight and stench of it. He shrank to the size of a flea and situated himself carefully inside it. Upon a woman entering, however, he proceeded to lose his lunch, in addition to the gum in his mouth and the AIDS medication he had taken. Yes, Ernest has AIDS, I told you he was a pervy kid. AIDS is a pandemic, and I would like to bring your attention to the main cause of this major crisis to health. Specifically, mass orgies. So kids, remember, orgy = DOOM. So I shall introduce the term: "Death Orgies Shouldn't Hurt Innocent Teens," or "NAMBLA" (Daily Show, how I love thee). Okay so Ernest is there in this bra puking cuz hes stuck there and the lady about to put it on... is his sister. She's not even a hot sister, and Ernest isn't white trash, so don't get any funny idears. He's stuck there, and when she puts it on, he's still puking and has to swallow it to avoid detection and dies. THE END

Yeah funky it happened twice

What I'm Listening to: (Anesthesia)--Pulling Teeth
Mood: Freakay, happy that I have another person on the "not going to act nice to my face and talk bad about me behind my back" list (short list), funkay (taken from the Poobah story, aks Emily M, my gf, or Katherine L about it), and also sad, but just for the purpose of songwriting don't read into it. HEY, just cuz I suck doesn't mean I can't write to try!! Paul wrote "When I'm Sixty-Four" at age 15!!!!!

So I was pwning these n00bs on Dust2...

Time magazine... what have you done? I know it's been this way for a while but this one in particular hit home. Ads on the fucking cover. It pisses me off. I have to rip it off. Don't ask why. But seriously... I knew it was coming, I knew that this horrible day was inevitable... I mean, it was only a matter of Time *tiddy boom*

Speaking of which, it's time for a new segment I'd like to call "pun police" woooo wooooo
NOTE: THESE ARE ALL REAL, I DIDN'T MAKE THEM UP! THEY'RE EITHER TOLD BY TEACHERS OR FROM TV

(after a racecar driver crashes into a beehive and gets stung like 50,000 times)
"Now he knows the sting of defeat!"

This is from South Park
"My name is Ms. Chokesondick"
"More like 'Ms. Makesmesick!'"

yeah this is bad for my brain im callin it quits here

Now for "Great Moments of ADD"
Actually I'm hungry ill finish it tomorrow prolly